Stamford Family Law Blog

If you want a prenup, here is how to ask

As a business owner, maybe you want a prenup to protect your company and your assets. You don't want to get divorced -- you're not even married yet -- but you have worked hard for this company. You need to know it's safe, no matter what happens.

Asking your partner for a prenup can be complicated. You don't want them to feel like you already have one foot out the door. The best thing you can do is to explain your reasoning. Tell them that you have to think about others -- your business partners, for instance, or your employees -- and this is just one way to do it. Tell them it has less to do with the relationship and more to do with your company and the legal side of the business.

Understanding how divorce limits your freedom

Do you feel trapped in your marriage? Do you think that you don't have enough freedom? Maybe that's why divorce sounds attractive to you. You want that freedom back. You want to live your own life.

Now, divorce may provide you with some element of freedom that you can't get without it. Perhaps your spouse is financially abusive, for example, and doesn't let you control the family's money.

Common ways spouses hide assets during divorces

You file for divorce. Your spouse doesn't react well. They're angry. You hoped they would be civil, but you knew this was a possibility. If anything, it just reinforces your view that you need to end the marriage.

However, you worry that your spouse will try to do everything in their power to get back at you during the divorce. The main thing you believe they'll do is attempt to hide assets. They want to keep as much of the family's wealth as possible, even if that means being less than honest or even breaking the law.

How often do fathers see their children after divorce?

Are you a father heading toward a divorce? If so, your primary concern may be how often you get to see your children after the split. You may feel confident that things will work out financially, and you may have asked for the divorce, so it's what you want, but you worry that you will lose time with your children.

Every case, of course, is different. However, looking at how often fathers tend to see their children after divorce can give you some insight into what you may encounter moving forward.

A power imbalance could lead to divorce

Many things can lead to divorce. Stress, money, intimacy issues and infidelity are all very common examples. However, it's important to remember that there are less obvious issues, the ones people don't talk about as much, that can still end a marriage.

One example is a power imbalance. A marriage needs some level of equality. Without it, the couple often cannot last.

Prenup myths: You can put it off

You believe in getting things done at the last minute. You joke that you work best under pressure. When it comes to planning your wedding, you take the same stance. Everything comes together very late in the game: weeks or even days before the ceremony.

You take the same approach to your prenuptial agreement. You know you want one, but it's complicated, and you wait to sign it until two days before the wedding. You show it to your future spouse, presenting it as just one more detail to complete. That's fine, right?

What does an uncontested divorce mean?

When you hear that people can have a contested or uncontested divorce, you may think that this means they're contesting whether or not to get divorced at all. For instance, one spouse may have filed for divorce while the other thinks they should stay together for the kids and try to save the marriage.

While some people do take these stances, that's not what the legal grounds for a contested or uncontested divorce really mean. Connecticut is a no-fault divorce state and your divorce is not going to get denied by the courts. In the modern era, the courts are not in the business of making people stay in marriages that they want to leave, no matter what the reason is.

Who gets the artwork you made during your marriage?

As an artist, your art is an expression of yourself. The last thing you think of it as is an asset. It's more than a piece of property, like a sofa or a car. Your artistic expression is who you are. It reflects you in a deeper way. It has meaning to you that, though you sell it and work commercially, goes far beyond money.

So, when your spouse asks for a divorce, you naturally assume that the art stays with you. After all, you created it. Nothing could possibly belong to you more. You shared your life with your spouse, but your art is yours and yours alone, right? It's not as if you purchased it together. It's something you made. It's something you created. Your emotions, insights and talents are wrapped up in it.

Using a Qualified Domestic Relations Order to divide assets

In your divorce, you are only worried about dividing assets. Your kids have all grown up and left the home. Both you and your spouse work. You don't have to worry about things like child custody, child support, spousal support and many other issues that usually influence younger divorces.

What you're most concerned with, though, is retirement. It's coming on quickly, and you do not want to lose your ability to retire at the proper time because of the financial impact of the divorce.

How people look at divorce today

People in the United States do not look at divorce the same way that they did in the 1950s. Opinions have shifted. This has absolutely changed the landscape of marriage in the United States in some interesting ways.

First of all, divorce is socially acceptable to most people now in a way that it simply was not before. Since people used to feel that the decision wouldn't be accepted, they would stay together when they wanted (or needed) to part. Now, they feel more free to extract themselves from bad relationships.


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