Stamford Family Law Blog

Hidden assets: Uncovering what your spouse is hiding

Even before you file for divorce, you start worrying about hidden assets. Your spouse never talks to you about money. There always seems to be plenty of it to go around, but you never see any of it. You don't know where it goes, when it comes in or how much your family even has. When people ask, you just shrug, and they laugh it off as though that must be the greatest luxury.

You did enjoy it during your marriage. You never had to worry about anything. But now that you're going to split up, you worry that you will definitely not get what you deserve because you don't even know what was there to begin with. Is your spouse simply going to hide assets, lie in court and then keep what they want for themselves?

Can your prenup protect you from debt?

People often think of prenuptial agreements as a way to protect their assets. They do not want to lose money to a spouse if they get divorced. They see marriage for the legal contract that it is, and they are wary of the financial ramifications of ending that contract. However, can you also use it to help you avoid extra debt?

For instance, maybe your future spouse is planning to go to medical school. You both just graduated from undergrad and decided to get married. For you, that's the end of student loans; you plan to get a job and start your career.

Is a ‘birdnesting’ parenting arrangement worth trying?

“Birdnesting” is a relatively new type of co-parenting arrangement that does not involve children bouncing back and forth between two houses. Instead, parents are the ones to travel between homes.

If you are a parent going through divorce, you might consider trying a birdnesting arrangement. However, it can be helpful to try to anticipate potential problems with this type of arrangement, so you and your ex-spouse can take steps to avoid unnecessary challenges.

What can divorce teach you about life?

No matter what happens in life, you just need to focus on the positive to find it. There is almost always something you can learn or some way that the events in your life can shape you.

This is even true with divorce. Maybe your spouse filed for divorce, and you did not necessarily want the marriage to end. You can't stop it from ending anyway, though. So, what can you learn?

Don't make your child feel guilty for loving your ex

Emotionally, divorce can create a very complex situation, both for children and adults. It is important for parents to make sure that they do not have a negative impact on their kids or the relationship those kids have with their ex -- the child's other parent.

For instance, if your child says something about how much they love and appreciate your ex -- it could be very simple, such as stating that they had a great time during a weekend visitation -- do not make them feel guilty about it. Don't tell them negative things about your ex to try to "balance it out." Don't make them think that they have to pick between the two of you.

Connecticut has one of the nation's highest divorce rates

Over the years, studies have found that the divorce rate in the United States has been dropping dramatically. While people often like to trot out the old "half of all marriages end in divorce," the reality is that some states show divorce rates as low as 20 percent, or one out of five. Iowa and Hawaii are two prime examples.

However, it's important not to confuse state-based trends with national trends. Even if the rate is falling overall, it is still very high in Connecticut.

The link between physical and financial abuse

When people say that abuse is one of the main reasons for divorce, they're correct, but they should specify exactly what type of abuse they mean. It can look very different in different situations. For instance, people could suffer from physical abuse, emotional abuse or financial abuse.

That being said, some experts do note that these are often closely connected. Two or more could take place at the same time in the same dysfunctional relationship.

A prenup can help as life changes

A prenuptial agreement helps protect your future. It helps to address a potential divorce in advance, with a focus on the way that your life may change moving forward.

To see how this works, just look at one of the more common reasons why you don't need to use a prenup: If you don't think you'll gain much that you want to protect.

Do teen marriages last?

You're 19 years old. You just finished your first year of college. You and your significant other decide that you want to get married. You're in love, you feel committed to the relationship, and you're eager to start this next stage in your life.

But is it going to last, or are you just headed for divorce?

Can marrying out of your league lead to divorce?

Are you man who wakes up every day amazed the woman you are with agreed to marry you? Of course, that is how every man should feel. But, what if you believe that your wife is out of your league? If this is the case with you, do you feel secure in your arrangement, or are you worried that this unbelievable luck will soon run out?

If you feel that your luck may soon come to an end, you may be right according to new research. It seems that men marrying women who are more physically attractive than their husband may become less committed due to circumstances around the discrepancy. When this is the case, divorce may be inevitable. What usually happens is when physical attributes don’t line up equally, the romantic relationship has a greater chance of falling apart.


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