The first step toward bringing up divorce

For many people, it’s not hard to understand why they want a divorce. Where they struggle is putting that desire into action. They don’t want to talk to their spouses about it and they dread having the conversation.

One of the key first steps in the process, then, is asking themselves why they feel that way. Here are a few questions that may help:

  • Do you think your spouse may assume it’s a joke or not take your wishes seriously?
  • Do you think that your spouse may physically harm you?
  • Do you want to avoid causing your spouse emotional harm?
  • Do you worry about the impact that this is going to have on the kids?
  • Are you concerned that you might change your mind after you say it?
  • Do you worry about simply putting the information out there, wondering what people will think when they hear?

Understanding why you feel nervous or why you feel reluctant can then help guide the conversation and show you what you need to focus on during the divorce. If you’re worried about the kids, how can you put their best interests first during the custody proceedings? If you’re worried about hurting your spouse emotionally, how can you compassionately explain why you think that the best option for both of you is just to end the marriage? If you’re worried about physical abuse, what legal protections can you use?

Every situation is different, but digging in and finding out why you feel the way you do helps you break down your emotions. You can then start looking into your legal options to end the marriage.