After divorce, do not keep secrets regarding your children

Even divorced parents must know how to communicate well with one another regarding the children. Remember that your obligations to the child remain, even when your marriage is over.

One important thing for you and your ex to agree on is that you will not keep secrets regarding the children. You will be open and honest.

For instance, maybe your child got in trouble in class. You may be tempted not to tell your ex. Maybe you just don’t want to have a hard conversation. Maybe you want to show your child that you are the “better” parent by keeping them from getting in trouble.

As tempting as this may be, it’s not wise. Both parents need to know what is going on in the child’s life so they can properly react to it and take appropriate steps to raise the child and promote their success in school and beyond.

On top of that, experts warn that doing anything to compete for the child’s love or win their affection is dangerous. It’s fine to work on having a strong relationship, but do not make it a competition with your ex. Do not try to turn the child away from them. In extreme situations, this is known as parental alienation, and it may impact custody rights.

At the end of the day, just remember that the child’s best interests come first. If you and your ex both have that mindset and make that your goal, you will still be great parents. As you work at this, be sure you also understand all of your parental rights.