How can I discuss a prenuptial with my partner?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, divorce rates have been on the decline over the last ten years. However, marriage rates have also been on the decline over the same period, which shows that more people are reluctant to make such a firm commitment.

One possible area of concern are finances. When you have worked hard to accrue personal wealth, it is only natural that you want to preserve your assets in the event of a divorce. Developing a prenuptial agreement protects your financial interests, but your spouse may be less enthusiastic about the idea. Here are a few ways to discuss the issue so it causes as little disagreement as possible.

Do not just start laying out your demands

You probably feel pretty strongly about your desire for a prenup. Do not let your strong feelings dictate your behavior when having a discussion with your partner. Instead of making demands about what you would like to be included in the document, explain the reasoning for your decisions. Perhaps it is important to you that you and your spouse remain financially independent during your relationship. Or maybe you have concerns about being taken advantage of financially. By listing your reasons, your spouse is more likely to see things from your side.

Listen to your partner’s objections

Just like you expect understanding from your partner, you should also provide understanding when they present objections. Marriage is primarily about sharing your life with a person you love, so many people find discussions about finances off-putting. Explain to your partner that you want to have these discussions now to make your marriage stronger, so you will both be on the same page when it comes to financial issues.

Leave the discussion open

It may take two or more conversations before you and your spouse can come to an agreement. Beginning discussions about six months or more before you are scheduled to get married leaves you plenty of time to make decisions that protect both you and your spouse. Starting the conversation early will also prevent your partner from feeling like they were pressured into making a decision.